Miss Chell'e and her ex-husband

There once was a woman named Miss Chell'e....

What can be said of Miss Chell'e? Much about her could be explained through psychological analysis, but I'm going to skip all that for your sake.

Miss Chell'e was by most that met her, considered to be an imbecile. In fact, I think psychological testing would prove this, but I digress.

Yes, Miss Chell'e was the idiot of idiots. You see, she considered herself to be very bright which may very well have been her most annoying quality. I mean you truly have to be quite stupid to not notice what everyone truly thinks about you! Even her own boss (her older, Mexican cousin)considered and knew of her stupidity and took pity on her. He gave her a job, labeled her as a "corporate analyst", but in truth, her job was only as a glorified receptionist.

Her origins are complicated, but this part will be about her much younger ex-husband. You see, Miss Chell'e was not only stupid, but she was also, well a total slut. Her now ex-husband being was only 19 when they met and like most 19 year old boys he enjoyed this aspect of her. They lived together for a time, but after a year or so the ex-husband began to see her for what she was. When she spoke his eyes would glaze over and a fog would cloud his mind. This would happen as a defense mechanism for his own mind and he had right to need that defense. I mean someone that stupid surely must be infected with something, what that was he didn't know. She was so incredibly stupid that he began to consider the possibility that it could be contagious. So he began to retreat into himself, a shell of a man. Some considered him a type of zombie and in some ways he ways. Like a Zombie, he began to seek out a type of sustenance, almost like an addict to drugs. He needed this to feel any type of good or bad feeling, after all if your feeling something your still alive. Once away from her, his mind began to open, the fog that had clouded his mind for protection for so long began to lift. There was nothing left to fear, the stupidity was gone! The imbecile creating it was gone! The need for that sustenance gone.
     He looked around wondering what should he do now? So much time had gone by without him' 'feeling' it that he almost believed that he could not accomplish anything. How could he start over? What was dear to him? What was worth living for now? During that period of doubt he began to see that he himself could be dear to him and that alone could be enough.
     For the most part Miss Chell'e stayed the same. Her life a boil on the butt of humanity. As her ex-husband had feared, her stupidity began to suck in life around her. Plants literally wilted as she walked by in disgust. Other men came to visit her, but soon list interest when they realized her inability to perform as a human being and simply, how vain she was. Vain is also a good word to describe her, vain with nothing of substance to back it up. Vanity combined with stupidity is simply deadly.
     The ex-husband is now fairly free, still bothered by Miss Chell'e as she requested more money than he could afford. After all her vanity needed feeding. Her vanity required make-up, hair appointments, manicures pedicures on a regular basis and new clothes. Too bad you cant buy a soul. He wondered how her focus could be so wrong. She demanded this money behind his back, so deceitful and uncaring that when the bills arrived he had no idea how legally it could be happening. She never called him to speak to work the situation through. He would have sent money, but now he wondered how he would keep his job with this new bill hanging over his head. So, he thought, she was a stupid, vain and now deceitful 'thing.'
     He stopped to think. He smiled, realizing how clear it all was. He would have to realize what she was and fight her tooth and nail. He could not let stupidity and vanity win! He would not and that is how he remained, resolved to save the whole planet from the threat of the black hole, the vacuum of all intelligent life, the threat and menace that was Miss Chell'e.